Hey guys! I know its been awhile since I've blogged. So many things have been going on in my life physically, mentally and spiritually. Sometimes you have to take a step back and evaluate and regroup. I normally blog about things related to beauty, fashion or inspirational interest but today I wanted to just tell you guys about me and whats been going on in my life.
During the time I've been away I've really been focusing on giving myself a cleanse. I knew I had a lot of emotional baggage that was blocking me from moving forward in a lot of different things but these last few months really revealed to me just how bad I was. Many days I struggled with controlling my emotions and it was starting to manifest on the outside. I would respond to situations and people totally out of what my normal self would do. I would brush it off as me finally standing up for myself etc. when actually it was just an excuse for me to finally not have it all together which I realized is perfectly ok. So many times we bottle up how we really feel inside because we want to convince ourselves that we are these super strong humans that allow nothing to bother us. I had time to step outside of myself and examine areas that I really needed to work on within myself. Sometimes its scary to see just how negative our thoughts are and just how cold we become at times. I know it was for me! I really had to pray way more than what I had been praying. I pushed myself to confront my issues with myself and other people. I had to let go of a lot of un forgiveness that settled within me. Overall though I am in a much better place now than I was over these last few months thanks to God, some amazing friends and family and mentors.
On a much lighter note over the last few months I've had the opportunity to really focus on my craft of modeling. I've really had the chance to shoot more with the amazing Amir. He's taught me so much about modeling. I've really learned posing, lighting, angles and so much more from different perspectives. I can literally see the improvement every shoot with him. I've also been really focusing on agency testing as well. It's been a little challenging trying to find the best fit for me but thankfully I've found a few different ones to consider. Although I cant speak on that in too many details I can say that there has been a lot of interest, responses from directors and a lot of no's as expected.
One of the most exciting things that happened to me last month was being able to work with Redken. It was seriously one of the best experiences I've had in awhile! I got a chance to meet some amazing hair professionals including Justin Isaac and Sam Villa as well as awesome makeup artist, models and wardrobe stylists. I was just extremely ecstatic to even get a chance to work with such a big company. Of course i had to get in my head and shake my confidence a little bit because I was the only African American model with Afro textured hair. I had so many different thoughts and feelings during the prepping process because they decided to leave my hair the way it was....just in a curly afro. The whole time I was questioning if they liked me as much as the other models etc. but then I was asked to open up the runway show for them and I cant even put into words the feeling that I got being able to open a show for Redken and just being able to get back on the runway which I love so much! So many great things came from me doing that show and Im so glad that I went through with it!
So in a nutshell that is pretty much what I've been doing while I've been away. I've been working on a few different projects for the upcoming year that I can't wait to share with you guys.
One of the biggest lessons that I've learned is dont get so wrapped up in working and catering to other peoples feeling that you forget to take care of yourself. If you are not in a good mental space you can't focus completely on everything that you need to do efficiently. Seek God on getting wisdom on how to handle different things. You dont have to feel like you can do everything on your own.